"You Don't Live In London?????"

No I don't live in London, it's true, bring on the handcuffs or the self flagellation! I confess it - I am an actor and I live in the North of England. Does this really have to mean that I am cursed to a life of self blame and denial?

A few days ago I landed an advert with, shall we say, a well known mobile technology company. Ecstatic to be working (cheerful agent now even more so) I consult my little black book for friends, acquaintances, people I knew a lifetime ago or even complete strangers with whom I drunkenly chatted once. All to find a space to lay my head whilst filming this epic. Unfortunately no corner of London was available to me (best friend playing the spiritual side of herself in Frankfurt and her excellent accommodation/food/wine closed for foreseeable future).

What was a northern girl to do? "Sod it!" I thought and with the bit firmly between my teeth and Reg the flying Punto firmly under my ass, I cried "I'll drive!" It takes about 3 hours to navigate my way past the salesman's X5 and Audi cars with jackets swinging on hooks in the rear. Not a bad drive really especially with my Man for company, tuning the radio and passing out sandwiches or cigarettes.

So a bustling morning (having left at 5 am) finds me bright eyed and bushy tailed in the city of actors trying on clothes for my role. At which point there's a blind panic at the production company when I'm asked to write my address and phone number on a random piece of paper. A wide eyed (but very sweet) Production Assistant consults, behind closed doors, a terribly trendy Production Manager who strides across the office with an incredulous gaze. He looks again at the paper containing my address as if maybe, just maybe he's read it wrong and in a voice that implies I've just served him pigs trotters on a bed of black pudding he says: "You don't live in London?????"

Erm....actually....no.... but I've read loads of books on the subject of acting and I've never found one yet which instructs the actor first and foremost to live in London. Surely talent, ability, technique etc is more important than location? Certainly with Reg the flying Punto and Man as my M6 support team - I'm never late for London!