Film Party

Good news 2007 - I've managed to score a part in a film. My story begins with the PR launch in London (if you can't beat 'em?)

I naturally glam up in a tasteful way and set forth from Cheshire with Man in our new car "The Don" (Reg The Flying Punto has now been retired to my Bro). Having parked beyond the congestion charge and with blisters on my feet we arrive in time to notice that there were almost more PR people than guests.

I think I did myself credit - spoke to everyone I needed to, didn't drink despite the free bar, networked and generally charmed everyone until I left at 9.30pm when I spotted the tell tale signs of the free bar becoming more important than the film.

However my favourite character amongst so many to choose from was the agent of one of my fellow actors. I am told that she "talked non stop on the phone in the taxi - business is so busy"on the way here as she flops down onto a seat that gives a little too easily and recovers with a hair toss and shiny smile. The attire she wore seemed to match the incredibly loud voice that rose in pitch and volume whenever it felt it wasn't being listened to. I did giggle to myself when she very seriously said "I suppose you recognise my client, everyone does, he used to be on (insert trashy program for yourself) you know." I took great comfort in the fact that she told me that she could see me playing a teacher on (above trashy program) as it sounded like the perfect job to aspire to - should I have a lobotomy any time soon.

My last memory of her was as I was leaving. She was buzzing around the room wearing a name badge that she'd written herself, clutching a half drunk glass of free wine that with every gesture was shared with the clothing of the people politely milling around her. Her arm appeared to be a conveyer belt of one bite burgers and mini cheese tartlets. "I haven't eaten since lunch - too busy" she masticated as her waistband groaned. She waved bye-bye to me like I was to be bridesmaid at her up-coming nuptials ("don't know when but I am definitely getting married this summer" - had she told her boyfriend yet?)

As I walked out the door Man read my mind "Thank god for your Cheerful Agent eh?" Ab-so-bloody-lutely!